You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Breast cancer’ tag.

‘Could you teach me Kapotasana Les?’

Over 10 years ago, I asked my teacher, knowing it was beyond my limit.

I had been diagnosed as breast cancer.

Because of operation and implant, my performance would not be same.

It might be last chance.

We tried. But he said ‘Not today for you.’

「レス、カポタサナ教えて」

10年以上前、私の限界を超えたポーズと知りながら先生に言った。

乳がんの診断を受けていた。

手術やインプラントで、きっと今の能力とは違って来るだろう。

これが最後のチャンスかもしれない。

やってみたけど、「今日はここまで」だった。

Went though treatment and recovery, came back on my mat.

Analyze what I need to be in Kapotasana.

Don’t go beyond limit.

But trace the limit. Expand the limit a bit by bit.

Reach the toes. elbows on floor.

Yes. My performance is not same.

Thank you all my teachers and Anjani for your guide.

*

治療と回復の後、マットに戻ってきた。

カポタサナに何が必要か分析する。

限界を越えようとするのではなく、

限界をなぞり、少しづつ限界を拡張する。

つま先に触れる。肘を床に。

その通り。今の能力は、前とは違う。

ここまで導いて下さった先生方、アンジャニ先生、ありがとうございます。

Advertisements

It’s good for you. My sis said.

Years later I founds this pricy New Zealand honey at Mustafa Centre.

Now it is one of my regular ingredients for breakfast and tea.

manuka honey

The bigger it’s certified number is, the more expensive it is, even the taste is not much difference.

The number is supposed to indicate the anti-bacterial properties which treat eye ear sinus infection, inflammation, high cholesterol, might be prevent cancer.

It works both in hot and cool. I love to have with yogurt or in mint tea.

Yumm… Golden sweetie. Oh! It’ all right. It is medicine, isn’t it?

‘Congratulation. Result is excellent. You do well.’

By doctor’s words, my tension was gone immediately.

It was 5th year check after breast cancer treatment, meaning official recovery.

twin leaves

The years after the diagnosis is tough experience.

Still I recognize it is a very challenging practice, which sincere effort is needed,

which changed me from a flexible girl to a strong individual.

I’m proud of myself who went though with smiling and calmness, mostly.

Gratitude to my friends, teachers and my surroundings.

 

It’s a mile stone.

May each of us, our each day, each moment has life blissfully.

Namaste.

Once has accident or operation, body awareness tends to be lost at that part of body. For me it’s left side. Left side is just quiet.

Right side is chatty and strong, works hard, compensates for left side.

Body is twisted. Center is lost.

 

Like a couple

Strong person wants go quickly, efficiently, more than weak person’s ability.

Strong person frustrates and pull. The more being pulled, the less weak person goes.

Couple can spilt, but the body not.

 

Strong side need to be gentle, wait and response to behalf.

 

Lotus devided

 

Ba aware the left side

Find the strength.

Start moving from there.

 

Breath in. Watch.

Breath out. Go a bit further.

 

Gently move right side

as a response  to left side.

Enough.

 

Breath into both side

Feel the whole body.

Body show the space to go further.

 

Be as a whole.

 

Practice yoga with feeling touches at one place, spread to the end of body.

The body adjusts itself. Suddenly I realize it is right. But what is this? ‘I’ didn’t do it.

 

A Rolfer taught me what the body does.

Body has intelligence. Not mind. Body can even release the pain autonomously.

‘Not focus on the pain, but aware ‘the comfort’ has potential to adjust and release’.

 

candle

1. In quiet comfortable place, lay down or sit in relaxing posture with feet on floor, feeling being supported.

Breath deeply. Look around the surroundings, room interior, decorations and outside view with gentle eye movements.

Be aware the space where we are.

 

2. Having been settled, leave the pain as a second step, but turn the mind inwards-inside of body. Search ‘the comfort’ such as ‘the most relaxing feeling’ or ‘the energetic feeling place’.

For example it might be the release at the back being enveloped by cushions, the warmth at the thigh and palms or the supported feeling by the seat at buttocks.

 

3. Aware, taste these existing ‘comfort’ and observe the transition in inner body.

Transition might happen at the place rerates to the pain place, or not relates.

Or nothing happens, which is also all right. Feel ‘nothing happens’.

Through awareness in inner body if autonomous adjustment happens, just observe as it is. It might be,,,

-breath goes deeply

-warmth or relaxed feeling is extending

-tightness in somewhere is released

-find tension in somewhere

-spine extends,,,,etc

 

4. Imagine the line surrounds the pain place.

 

5. Aware there is no pain at the outside of the line. Feel ‘the no-painness’  with ‘the comfort’ together. Together is the most important  point.

 

6. If there is any transition at quality of pain, shape or place, repeat 2-5.

If the pain increases, stop immediately and turn the mind outwards. Look surroundings, outside view as a reset the mind. Breath deeply.

 

7. Until here if any shake or involuntary movement, warmth, breathing change happens, it is releasing from chronic tension. Just observe as it is.

Don’t ‘help’ the autonomous transition for promote more than natural body reply. If the movement doesn’t stop, it means we ‘help’, chase and interfere the transition. Be aware our hastiness. Let it go.

 

8. If the transition happens and the new ‘comfort’ appears, observe it. Next transition might happens.

However don’t try to reduce all the pain in one time. That idea creates unnecessary tension.

 

9.When we finish, turn the mind outwards, look outside space, surroundings and people with feeling ‘comfort’ and ‘no-painness’ together.

 

notes

As beginning try in the duration about 15-30 min, not more than 45 min. Try again after rest for a while.

Better to do with eye opened for keeping the connection with outside world.

If the pain increases, stop immediately. Turn the mind outwards. Look outside. Walk. Breath slowly and deeply.

 

Will you give a chance to your body?

Namaste Mr. Kotaro Ogiya

Friend’s name comes up at the corner of Facebook, saying birthday today.

I write message ‘Happy Birthday!’

as I think Birthday is the day to be celebrated.

*

After childhood was over, I thought it is too girly to ask to be celebrated, though.

Sushi-cake for birthday

In the morning of first birthday which I  had completed breast cancer treatment,

I got a lots of messages from my friends. Long long thread.

I realized I was and should celebrate my survival.

*

Yes. I’m still alive. I’m smiling and tearing. I’m happy from bottom of my heart.

*

Celebrate our life, our one-year effort in this difficult world. For each one of us.

Happy Birthday!

*

Sushi cake

Make Sushi rice. Place hot rice in a wet mold neatly. Let it cool down. Turn and place on a plate.

Place sliced cucumber,  Sahimi (raw fish), scrambled egg (cool downed) and herbs. Whatever you like.

Serve with Sushi-nori (seaweed for Sushi). Sing birthday song!

Place what you want on seaweed. Add the mixture of Soy sauce and Wasabi (ground Japanese Radish).

Roll, hold and bite it!

Because I’m woman, I restrain from tearing.

I’m strictly oppose to use tearing as a tool for manipulate others,

use their kindness as tool.

a drop on clover

After I got diagnosis as breast cancer, I tried not to boost emotion, no cry.

spent time for meditation and Savasana – dead body pose

for being calm and getting clear mind.

*

Between closed eye lids tear flowed out quietly.

It cleansed emotions, cleansed fogs covering my mind.

*

When opened eyes, world became clear.

I smiled and celebrated

the beauty of tear.

*

Photo by Joseph Namaste.

‘Fight against cancer. Don’t give up.’ someone says.

Feel strange. I didn’t fight against cancer.

I did neither try to win, nor be defeated.

DSC06277

No one knows why cancer was. But it was and was part of body, not alien.

It just did not grow in harmony with other cells, had a bit too much ambition.

Like me?

How to fight myself? Who win? Who loose?

Cease-fire. Study myself. Let cause walk out.

*

Denial doesn’t change life. Acceptance is a way to change.

Accept what I did, what I am and what I need to let go.

Heal in peace.

*

がんと闘う

「がんと闘うんだ。諦めてはいけない」とひとは言う。

違和感。私はがんと闘ったりはしなかった。勝ちもしなかったし、負けもしなかった。

がんの原因は誰にもわからない。それは、かつて私の中にあって、私の一部だった。

エイリアンじゃない。

ただ、他の細胞と調和して育たなかっただけ。強い望みがあったのかもしれないね。

わたしみたいに?

自分と闘うの?誰が勝って、誰が負けるの?

闘ったりしない。自分を知る、あらためる。

拒否では自分は変えられない。認めることが変化への一歩だ。

過去の、そして現在の自分、手放すべきものを認め、許す。

静かに癒してゆく。

‘Consciousness makes body shape, not muscles.

Where consciousness touches strongly becomes hill.

Where consciousness doesn’t touch at all becomes valley.

When consciousness spreads evenly, smoothness comes, Integration comes.’

Birjoo-ji said.

IMG_3724

I struggled my left side upper back. It was always rounded.

Because implant in left breast pulls everything towards front.

I tried to pull left shoulder blade in as opposed movement, which was no win.

*

Left breast looks like hill, but is valley. Hollow is inside. So back is hill.

*

Let consciousness touches implant, the hollow.

Fill the hollow which I tried to forget its existence.

Fill the new room with joy of alive.

*

Valley become hill. Integration comes.

*

Namaste.

Inhale, exhale. stop. Click, click.

In hale, exhale, stop.  Click, click click, click.

Listening physician’s clicks

for measuring the distance in the annual ultra sound examination,

I got nervous.

*

‘Ok. Finish. Please come back later for consulting’ she smiled and said.

I was released from hospital,

but my mind was not.

DSC06172

Walking street under the blue sky, having coffee at a tropical terrace,

mind was caught in the click sounds, wondering what she was measuring.

Tumor?

*

Inhale exhale.

Stop worrying. Stop thinking what is impossible to know right now.

Whatever comes later, I am sitting here uprightly. Deep exhale.

*

Suddenly world gets color back. Released.

*

On the way home from hospital, enjoy walking in colorful world.

*

Cocoon Studio

Tuesdays and Thursdays 10:30am to noon and 3pm to 4:30pm. 4 classes a week.

No am & pm class on Thursday 19 September.

コクーン・スタジオ

毎週火曜と木曜の午前クラス(10時半から正午まで)と午後クラス(3時から4時半まで)週4クラスです。

休講のお知らせ;9月19日木曜日は午前、午後クラス共休講にさせていただきます。

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 167 other followers

Follow me Instagram 'natsukonat'

I’m back from hoooot Japan. Class is resumed from 10:30am today. See you there! 暑い日本から帰って来て、今日の10時半からクラスを再開します。 お待ちしてまーす。
Zibinji’s workshop in Singapore. Passion for sharing Miss him already. シンガポールでのズビン先生のワークショップ。伝えることへの情熱。またお会いできる日を楽しみにしてます - #yoga #yogasingapore #iyengaryoga #cocoonstudiosg #singapore #ヨガ #シンガポールヨガ #ヨガシンガポール #シンガポールライフ #アイアンガーヨガ #コクーンスタジオ #シンガポール #シンガポール習い事 #zubinzarthoshtimanesh
Today Nat’s last class in July. From August morning class starts from 10:30. Afternoon class has no change. She has Summer holiday from 1 to 15 August. Pauline and others will substitute her morning class. No afternoon class. Her morning and afternoon classes are resumed from 20 August. We are looking forward to re-charged her! 今日は、7月最後のクラスです。 8月から午前のクラスは10時半開始になります。午後のクラスの変更はありません。 8月1日から15日まで夏休みをいただきます。その間、午前のクラスはポーリン先生他が代講いたします。午後のクラスは休講にさせていただきます。 8月20日から通常スケジュールに戻ります。お待ちしています。
Attended Zibinji’s workshop in KL. Passion for sharing ズビン先生のワークショップに参加させていただきました。 伝えることへの情熱 - #iyengaryoga #yogaworkshop #bksiyengaryogashala #zubinzarthoshtimanesh #ヨガ #シンガポールヨガ #ヨガシンガポール #アイアンガーヨガ #コクーンスタジオ #シンガポール #シンガポール習い事
Wall is teacher, helps my progress. Clean up with gratitude. That becomes prayer. 壁は上達を助けてくれる先生。 感謝を持って掃除する。作務は祈りとなる。 - Cleaning up method is in my blog on profile. 壁の掃除方法は、プロフィールにあるブログに掲載しました。 #yoga #yogasingapore #iyengaryoga #cocoonstudiosg #singapore #ヨガ #シンガポールヨガ #ヨガシンガポール #シンガポールライフ #アイアンガーヨガ #コクーンスタジオ #シンガポール #シンガポール習い事
International Day of Yoga 2019 event of Iyengar Yoga Community of Singapore. Thank you for your support!

Categories

Posts

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: