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Whip, whip, whip.
And whip and whip and whip
I can’t see even a slightly change.
*
Whip, whip, whip.
And whip and whip and whip
Nothing happens.
Whip, whip, whip
Start wondering
Is this whipping cream?
*
Whip, whip, whip
Start doubting
Am I doing correct way?
*
Whip, whip, whip
And whip and whip and whip
Even with such a long effort, nothing happens.
This is not whipping cream.
This is waste of effort. This will not make shape forever.
I should stop whipping.
At the very moment I’m giving up, change starts happening.
Once it starts, cream makes shape so easily.
*
I am happy to have kept whipping.
I am happy not to have given up.
*
You are the one who can be happy.
Because you are the one who kept whipping until making a change.
*
Poem by Mio Nozaki. Translated. Namaste.
Some think themselves as realists, analyse the information they get, talk with their logic for preparing any difficult stuations in unknown future.
Sounds clever. But sometimes sounds cruel.
After I got diagnosis as breast cancer, I read information crazily until I was sure what my stuation was, what might happen later.
Knowing well the negative side, I kept chin up and smiling for being positive. Believe my strength.
*
Some people kindly told me how long way I needed to go, what I might go though.
I just smiled and walked away, knowing I was the one who understand the stuation, not others.
Some people hug me and said how good I had gone though, how strong I was.
That encouragement I thirsted for. Who knows tomorrow?
*
Moon eclipses Sun.
Watch beauty in darkness of every moment.
Wait patiently with understanding as it is and believe what will be.
*
Birds start singing. Sun comes back.
See the world with gratitude to the beauty I learned.
*
‘I’m interested in this event. Because my family has cancer-history. But I am too busy, never did breast-examination.’ my friend said.
We took seats in the event, listened doctors’ talks.
Dr. Kris told about his new protocol with cutting-edge breast-cancer-MRI, answered lots of questions.
Dr. Jabu told present cancer condition in Thailand and over view of what we can do for being healthy for the first event.
‘Changing lifestyle’ events will be held every 2 months. More detail will be discussed one by one.
The talks were so interesting and overtimed. Dr. Rani didn’t have time to teach breast self examination, even she prepared breast molds.
*
‘Let’s ask Dr.Rani to teach you. You need to know.’
During doctor taught my friend, I touched the mold.
The feeling of lump in the mold recalled me.
The feeling was exactly same with a cancer lump in my breast
which is like a tiny bean in soft bread dough.
*
It is scary. But the memory of touch might save your life.
Have a touch, please.
＊
生きるために触れる
「ガンを患った家族がいるから興味のあるイベントだけど、忙しすぎてムリ。乳房セルフ・チェックもしたことないわ」と彼女は言った。でもなんとか、イベントに出席して、ドクターの言葉に耳を傾ける。
クリス先生は新しい乳がんMRIについての講演。たくさんの質疑応答。ジャブ先生はタイにおける現在の乳がんの状況と健康に生活するための方針についての講演。これが初回のイベント「チェンジング・ライフスタイル」は２ヶ月に１回行われる予定で、さらに細かい内容はこれから、おいおいと。
講演は時間をオーバーし、ラニ先生の乳房セルフ・チェックの時間がなくなってしまった。せっかく、模型を用意してこられたのに。
「ラニ先生に直接お願いしましょう。」
先生が彼女に教えていらっしゃる間、模型に触れてみる。
記憶が蘇る。
感触は、私の胸で感じられたものと同じだ。小さな豆が柔らかいパン生地の中に埋もれているみたい。
＊
触れてみるのは怖い。それでも、その記憶があなたのいのちを救うことになるかもしれない。
お願い。触れてみて。
＊
追記；日本では保健所などに、乳がんの腫瘍を触れて感じることができる模型があることがあります。お問い合わせの上、ぜひご体験ください。
*
‘Happy Songkran!’ My friend gave me a box of cookies with big smile.
It was GABA rice cookies, simple matherly taste.
GABA (Gamma-Amino Butyric Acid) calms down the mind, brings sweet dreams. Germinated rice is rich in it.
One day I went to see the new ‘Lemon farm’ branch at Lang Suan.
They have a lots of natural products, my daily needs.
Aloe vera gel and coconuts oil
Organic veges
And that cookies!
I bought 2boxes for me and for her.
*
Now it’s rainy season.
Have cookies.
Sleep well listening sound of cool raining.
Do you know ‘Khao yum’? I love it.
It is the dish comes from southern Thailand, made up of lots of veges and sea food.
It has many kinds of ingredients in it.
Cruchy and nutritious. Good for tired-with-hotness body.
It’s a bit difficult to get all of the ingredients.
So I buy at ‘Lemon farm’. (Their recipe is adapted to Bangkok.)
*
On the plate there are 24 kinds of natural nutritions.
3 kinds of organic rice, jasmine rice, red rice and whole jasmine rice.
Thai herbs – Indian pennywort, Betal leaf, long bean, lemon grass, leech lime leaf, galanga,
Fruits and veges – lime, green mango, Pomelo, carrot
Sprinckes – black and white sesame, fish powder, tiny fish, chili powder, baked coconuts, baked rice
and sauce made from natural palm sugar and fish.
*
Lemon farm is near the BTS Chitlom station, on Lang Suan road (opposite of Central chitlom towards Lumpinee park). Walk left side. Not so far there is Portico building. The first floor.
There is another branch at Sukhumvit 39, Soi Phromsri 1.
In the shop it is sold as a pack near the cashier.
*
Sit down. Have a rest after walking in the Sun.
Feel herbal breeze from the South.
*
Next Thursday Bangkok Breast Cancer Support group hold an event.
‘Changing Lifestyles’
In the event Dr. Kris Chatamra gives a talk, answers questions. He is the most famous breast cancer doctor in Thailand. He cares the patients feeling, reserve the beautiful shape of brest as much as possible.
Dr. Jabu Munalula talks later. He is an Oncologist, talk about mindful way of treating our body for healther life.
I know him.
First time I met him in little Bang’s Dhamma talk.
He asked a monk about the attutude toward terminal cancer patient.
As a survivor I felt pain to listen but was impressed his way of talk.
Quiet and sincere.
Later I learned he writes a blog about Dharmma.
I started talking with him.
*
I’d like to listen what he talk. Will be there.
How about you? Please.
9:30 Resistration
9:50 Welcome and Introduction by Khunying Finola Chatamra
10:05 Opening message by Dr. Kris Chatamra
10:35 Coffee break
10:45 Presentation by Dr. Jabu Munalua
11:30 Demonstration by Dr. Rani Phlaphongpanch
A lesson in Breast Self Examination
12:00 Closing
‘What is this?’ I pointed the orange color stuff on the breakfast table in Luang Prabang.
It was somehow creamy but fruity. Nice for breakfast.
The staff said ‘It is home-made mango jam.’ ‘ Really?! How to cook?’
During hottest season in Bangkok mangos are so sweet. I cook mango jam as his instruction.
*
Boil glass jar and dry it.
Put riped mango flesh in large pot. Heat over medium heat. Keep stir it. It’s easy to burnt.
Add some lime fresh juice, if you want to keep the yellow color. Or just simply mango only.
Cook and stir until you can see the bottom of the pan, when you move the spatula.
Pour into the glass jar. Close the top. Let it cool down.
*
Enjoy gift from tropical summer.
*
This is a story Japanese Buddhist teacher told.
*
A doctor is stressed every time he need to give diagnosis as cancer.
He calls the patient for asking to come as soon as possible.
When she coming into the room, she is tensed painfully. She has no concentration but is staring my mouth.
I start talking.
‘I got the result. It is severe for you to listen. Do you want?’
‘Yes. Doctor. I’m ok. Please tell me directly.’ she says with her hands shaking.
‘The cancer spreaded to these points.’
‘How long I have?’
‘I can’t say exactly but might be half year. If it grows quick, might be 3 months.’
She is freezed. Her time is freezed. It is in fact sentence of death.
*
I ask ‘What do you want to do now?’
She starts coming out from panic, starts thinking. The time starts moving again.
*
Most of patients can’t answer right away, start thinking deeply. It’s not depends on age.
*
Think about it now. Do it from now on.
No one knows what happens tomorrow.
*
Thank you Mr. Ryuta Kikutani
I love easy going home party with my friends.
Sometimes with Japanese food, sometimes with this.
Buckwheat galette.
I prepare wheat mixture previous night. That makes mixture smoother.
At party day I quickly prepare veges, smoked salmon, spinach curry, hummus, boiled eggs, fruits, cream, chocolates, honey,,, whatever I have.
In the party I use ‘Closer crape maker’.
I show how to make the crape once.
Everyone are happy to try.
Even the crape is crushed, never mind!
It’s just experience. Eat it. try again.
Create own ingredients! Have fun!
*
Buckwheat mixture
Put 10g butter in small bowl. Pour boiling water in larger bowl. Float butter bowl on it. Let the butter melt down.
Put 100g buckwheat and 1 pinch of salt in another bowl.
Make mixture of 2 eggs and 200cc milk.
Add the milk mixture into wheat bowl once a bit. Mix well. Add more and mix. Keep continue until become smooth mixture.
Add butter. Mix well. Keep in fridge over night.
Before making galette, mix well once more.
*
I love the one, let cocolate melt, add cream. That’s all.
Right timing,
Good ingredient,
Simple way.
A summer day in the city of Angels 