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I’m so happy to see her,

who is going though Breast cancer operations and therapies.

Her skin is snowy white. With sweet voice she talks sincerely, smiles gracefully.

 

She looks different before her tough period.

IMG_6433

Even she becomes weaker in outside,

her inner shine radiates without hesitation,

like the cleaned up window.

 

You must lost something.

But you are brighter and more beautiful.

I’m happy to have you as my friend.

 

内側からの輝き

 

久しぶりに会えて嬉しい。

乳がんでいくつもの手術と治療を受けて、彼女は雪のように白い。

甘い声で素直に話し、微笑んでいる。

 

昔とは変わったね。

 

外側は弱っているかもしれないけど、

まっすぐ届く内側からの輝き。磨いたばかりの窓のよう。

 

失ったものもあるだろうけど、

前よりもっと輝いていて、きれいになった。

あなたが友達で嬉しい。

 

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Pot boiled over. Run for stopping it. In a spilt second, I slipped and hit the temple at the counter.

Fortunately it’s not my temple but my specs’ temple.

My specs was broken.

broken specs

I bought this thick-temple spec before having chemotherapy

for hiding eyebrows and eyelashes which might be lost in treatment.

Even I didn’t loose them, it protected my feeling during I was weak.

 

Over 8 years passed. I’m no longer weak.

Now it’s broken, finish its role.

I no need your protect. Thank you so much.

 

壊れたメガネ

 

鍋が吹いて、火を止めに走る。その一瞬、滑って転倒。カウンターに激突。

幸運なことに、ぶつけたのは私のこめかみではなくて、メガネのつるだった。

メガネは壊れてしまったけれども。

 

これは、抗がん剤治療が始まる前、

眉とまつ毛が抜けてしまうのを恐れて選んだ分厚いフレームのメガネだった。

そんなことは起こらなかったけれども、弱っていた気持ちを守ってくれた。

 

8年以上が過ぎ、私はもう弱くなんかない。

壊れて、役割を終えたメガネ。私はもう大丈夫。守ってくれてありがとう。

‘Oh! No! That was tragedy. I’m so sorry to hear that.’ Michelle said to my friend.

glass vase*

Stumble over tough situation,

pretend to That-is-not-happened-to me,

though the guilt over others.

Nothing helps. Start falling down.

*

Try to hold on the slippery wall,

Even can hold for a while,

weak fingers loose the grip.

Sliding down. Screaming.

*

Until look down the bottom,

never know how deep the bottom is.

Face the bottom, the reality,

even It requires huge courage, strength.

Hit it! Jump up! Well done!

*

‘I don’t feel happy to had that, but it’s ok now.’

My friend replied with smile, big bright smile  as always.

You are great, Susan.

It’s good for you. My sis said.

Years later I founds this pricy New Zealand honey at Mustafa Centre.

Now it is one of my regular ingredients for breakfast and tea.

manuka honey

The bigger it’s certified number is, the more expensive it is, even the taste is not much difference.

The number is supposed to indicate the anti-bacterial properties which treat eye ear sinus infection, inflammation, high cholesterol, might be prevent cancer.

It works both in hot and cool. I love to have with yogurt or in mint tea.

Yumm… Golden sweetie. Oh! It’ all right. It is medicine, isn’t it?

‘Congratulation. Result is excellent. You do well.’

By doctor’s words, my tension was gone immediately.

It was 5th year check after breast cancer treatment, meaning official recovery.

twin leaves

The years after the diagnosis is tough experience.

Still I recognize it is a very challenging practice, which sincere effort is needed,

which changed me from a flexible girl to a strong individual.

I’m proud of myself who went though with smiling and calmness, mostly.

Gratitude to my friends, teachers and my surroundings.

 

It’s a mile stone.

May each of us, our each day, each moment has life blissfully.

Namaste.

Practice yoga with feeling touches at one place, spread to the end of body.

The body adjusts itself. Suddenly I realize it is right. But what is this? ‘I’ didn’t do it.

 

A Rolfer taught me what the body does.

Body has intelligence. Not mind. Body can even release the pain autonomously.

‘Not focus on the pain, but aware ‘the comfort’ has potential to adjust and release’.

 

candle

1. In quiet comfortable place, lay down or sit in relaxing posture with feet on floor, feeling being supported.

Breath deeply. Look around the surroundings, room interior, decorations and outside view with gentle eye movements.

Be aware the space where we are.

 

2. Having been settled, leave the pain as a second step, but turn the mind inwards-inside of body. Search ‘the comfort’ such as ‘the most relaxing feeling’ or ‘the energetic feeling place’.

For example it might be the release at the back being enveloped by cushions, the warmth at the thigh and palms or the supported feeling by the seat at buttocks.

 

3. Aware, taste these existing ‘comfort’ and observe the transition in inner body.

Transition might happen at the place rerates to the pain place, or not relates.

Or nothing happens, which is also all right. Feel ‘nothing happens’.

Through awareness in inner body if autonomous adjustment happens, just observe as it is. It might be,,,

-breath goes deeply

-warmth or relaxed feeling is extending

-tightness in somewhere is released

-find tension in somewhere

-spine extends,,,,etc

 

4. Imagine the line surrounds the pain place.

 

5. Aware there is no pain at the outside of the line. Feel ‘the no-painness’  with ‘the comfort’ together. Together is the most important  point.

 

6. If there is any transition at quality of pain, shape or place, repeat 2-5.

If the pain increases, stop immediately and turn the mind outwards. Look surroundings, outside view as a reset the mind. Breath deeply.

 

7. Until here if any shake or involuntary movement, warmth, breathing change happens, it is releasing from chronic tension. Just observe as it is.

Don’t ‘help’ the autonomous transition for promote more than natural body reply. If the movement doesn’t stop, it means we ‘help’, chase and interfere the transition. Be aware our hastiness. Let it go.

 

8. If the transition happens and the new ‘comfort’ appears, observe it. Next transition might happens.

However don’t try to reduce all the pain in one time. That idea creates unnecessary tension.

 

9.When we finish, turn the mind outwards, look outside space, surroundings and people with feeling ‘comfort’ and ‘no-painness’ together.

 

notes

As beginning try in the duration about 15-30 min, not more than 45 min. Try again after rest for a while.

Better to do with eye opened for keeping the connection with outside world.

If the pain increases, stop immediately. Turn the mind outwards. Look outside. Walk. Breath slowly and deeply.

 

Will you give a chance to your body?

Namaste Mr. Kotaro Ogiya

Friend’s name comes up at the corner of Facebook, saying birthday today.

I write message ‘Happy Birthday!’

as I think Birthday is the day to be celebrated.

*

After childhood was over, I thought it is too girly to ask to be celebrated, though.

Sushi-cake for birthday

In the morning of first birthday which I  had completed breast cancer treatment,

I got a lots of messages from my friends. Long long thread.

I realized I was and should celebrate my survival.

*

Yes. I’m still alive. I’m smiling and tearing. I’m happy from bottom of my heart.

*

Celebrate our life, our one-year effort in this difficult world. For each one of us.

Happy Birthday!

*

Sushi cake

Make Sushi rice. Place hot rice in a wet mold neatly. Let it cool down. Turn and place on a plate.

Place sliced cucumber,  Sahimi (raw fish), scrambled egg (cool downed) and herbs. Whatever you like.

Serve with Sushi-nori (seaweed for Sushi). Sing birthday song!

Place what you want on seaweed. Add the mixture of Soy sauce and Wasabi (ground Japanese Radish).

Roll, hold and bite it!

Because I’m woman, I restrain from tearing.

I’m strictly oppose to use tearing as a tool for manipulate others,

use their kindness as tool.

a drop on clover

After I got diagnosis as breast cancer, I tried not to boost emotion, no cry.

spent time for meditation and Savasana – dead body pose

for being calm and getting clear mind.

*

Between closed eye lids tear flowed out quietly.

It cleansed emotions, cleansed fogs covering my mind.

*

When opened eyes, world became clear.

I smiled and celebrated

the beauty of tear.

*

Photo by Joseph Namaste.

‘Fight against cancer. Don’t give up.’ someone says.

Feel strange. I didn’t fight against cancer.

I did neither try to win, nor be defeated.

DSC06277

No one knows why cancer was. But it was and was part of body, not alien.

It just did not grow in harmony with other cells, had a bit too much ambition.

Like me?

How to fight myself? Who win? Who loose?

Cease-fire. Study myself. Let cause walk out.

*

Denial doesn’t change life. Acceptance is a way to change.

Accept what I did, what I am and what I need to let go.

Heal in peace.

*

がんと闘う

「がんと闘うんだ。諦めてはいけない」とひとは言う。

違和感。私はがんと闘ったりはしなかった。勝ちもしなかったし、負けもしなかった。

がんの原因は誰にもわからない。それは、かつて私の中にあって、私の一部だった。

エイリアンじゃない。

ただ、他の細胞と調和して育たなかっただけ。強い望みがあったのかもしれないね。

わたしみたいに?

自分と闘うの?誰が勝って、誰が負けるの?

闘ったりしない。自分を知る、あらためる。

拒否では自分は変えられない。認めることが変化への一歩だ。

過去の、そして現在の自分、手放すべきものを認め、許す。

静かに癒してゆく。

‘Consciousness makes body shape, not muscles.

Where consciousness touches strongly becomes hill.

Where consciousness doesn’t touch at all becomes valley.

When consciousness spreads evenly, smoothness comes, Integration comes.’

Birjoo-ji said.

IMG_3724

I struggled my left side upper back. It was always rounded.

Because implant in left breast pulls everything towards front.

I tried to pull left shoulder blade in as opposed movement, which was no win.

*

Left breast looks like hill, but is valley. Hollow is inside. So back is hill.

*

Let consciousness touches implant, the hollow.

Fill the hollow which I tried to forget its existence.

Fill the new room with joy of alive.

*

Valley become hill. Integration comes.

*

Namaste.

Cocoon Studio

Tuesdays and Thursdays 10am to 1130am and 3pm to 430pm. 4 classes a week. During New Year holiday, class is off. Last class in 2017 is Thursday 21st December. First class in 2018 is Tuesday 16th January.

コクーン・スタジオ

毎週火曜と木曜の午前クラス(10時から11時半まで)と午後クラス(3時から4時半まで)週4クラスです。年末年始は一時帰国のためお休みさせていただきます。年内最終クラスは12月21日木曜日、年始は1月16日火曜日です。

 

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Thank you for joining Yoga & Aromatherapy workshop ‘Cleanse your mind / Cleanse your home’
ヨガxアロマ コラボワークショップ「ココロもおウチもデトックス」にご参加ありがとうございました。
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#yoga #yogasingapore #iyengaryoga #cocoonstudiosg #singapore #tgpagar #outram #duxtonplainpark #ヨガ #シンガポールヨガ #ヨガシンガポール #シンガポールライフ #アイアンガーヨガ #コクーンスタジオ #シンガポール #アロマ #ワークショップ #アロマヨガ #エッセンシャルオイル #デトックス #aromatherapy #workshop #naturalcleaning #essentialoil #detox Baddhakonasana in temple
お寺のバダコナサナ
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#ガネーシャ #バダコナサナ #合せきのポーズ #ヒンズー教寺院 #ganesha #baddhakonasana Add Calendula tincture drips in fresh mint tea. Bright flower blooms in green fragrance.
フレッシュ ミントティーにマリーゴールド チンキを数滴。草の香りの中にお日様いろの花が咲く
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#ミントティー #ハーブティー #マリーゴールド #harbtea #minttea #calendulatincture Today’s harvest. It grows from a small twig. Everyday’s small progress makes amazing result.
今日の収穫。小さなひと枝から育ちました。毎日の小さな成長から素晴らしい結果が。
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#バタフライピー #蝶豆花 #禅 #バルコニーガーデン #butterflypeaflower #zenmeditation #balconygarden Got yoga mat spray made from natural essential oil. Everyday fresh fragrance on mat and practice.

アロマオイルのヨガマットスプレーをいただきました。毎日、フレッシュなマットとプラクティスを
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#yoga #yogasingapore #iyengaryoga #cocoonstudiosg #singapore #tgpagar #outram #duxtonplainpark #ヨガ #シンガポールヨガ #ヨガシンガポール #シンガポールライフ #アイアンガーヨガ #コクーンスタジオ #シンガポール #ヨガマットスプレー #アロマ #エッセンシャルオイル #yogamatspray #aroma #essentialoil Black Friday shopping. Bandages.
ブラック フライデーのお買い物。バンデージがいっぱい。
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#yoga #yogasingapore #iyengaryoga #cocoonstudiosg #singapore #tgpagar #outram #duxtonplainpark #ヨガ #シンガポールヨガ #ヨガシンガポール #シンガポールライフ #アイアンガーヨガ #コクーンスタジオ #シンガポール #ヨガプロップス #yogaprops
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