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In forward extension pose a Lute appears.
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Base of strings is Sacrum
Bridges are Vertebrae
Strings are Spinal column
attached to Neck
Knobs are Arms and Legs
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Work on knobs
Strings grow neither tight nor loose
Play beautiful vibration
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Life energy flows along
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Inspired by Mr. B.K.S.Iyengar Astadala Yogamala Vinadana Namaste
‘It’s too sweet. They might add syrup.’ I complained.
‘So you might squeeze by yourself.’ My friend suggested adding
‘That is not lot of work.’ Really?
Cut watermelon into triangle with skin kept on.
Place colander on a bowl. Hold the skin, scrape watermelon flesh over the colander.
Seeds are left. Pour red water into a glass. Might add a little bit salt.
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It has gentle sweetness. Sweeter than flesh.
My doubt was melted down.
Magical fresh red water run though throat. Refresh hot day.
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I suffer for unevenness, lost my center.
A moment of silence. Rolfer answered to me
One day you will find your integration.
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I could’t believe him.
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With implant in left chest,
body got stiff left side and hyper-mobile right side.
Teacher said I stood not straight.
Though my nerve said it was straight.
I confused, didn’t know where center was.
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Sit in meditation
Muscles are still in balance.
Bones are still in unti-gravity.
Breath are in calmness.
Find a slight light of the center, my integration.
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‘How big implant do you want?’
When my doctor asked me in consultation of breast cancer surgery, I had no idea.
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There were a lots of choice in treatment. I needed to make decisions many times.
In limited time. By myself.
That was the hardest part of my treatment period.
Partial or Mastectomy.
Up to the stage of tumor. Think about the cut size which includes flesh around the tumor. How many places and where?
Imagine the breast shape after.
Might think about keeping nipple or not.
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If mastectomy, No-implant or Reconstruction.
No-implant is lesser stress in body, if it is acceptable in mind.
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If reconstruction, Immediately or Later.
Immediately might be lesser stress in mind.
Or Later, might be able to see your needs more exactly. Because body tends to change shape in stressed condition.
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Fill with Own flesh or Implant
With Own flesh might get more natural shape and softness, but need longer time to heal.
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If Implant, Size, Shape, Material.
Hard and big implant might make nicer looking. But because it is inserted behind chest muscles, might brings pain and inward rotated shoulder.
Not all the type of implant might be available in the hospital. I found a type (large diameter and low projection for looking naturally) is only available in Japan.
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My choice was small soft implant in immediate reconstruction for earlier recover, lesser stress in muscle as a yogi.
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Think about life. What is most important.
Choose thoughtfully. Make own stable decision. No regret.
Then let go in the hands of destiny.
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Medication progress everyday. I did in 2009. Please consult to your doctor and producing implant companies.
I wish your good luck and wise decisions.
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選択と意思
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「どのサイズのインプラントにしますか？」
乳がんの手術の前の質問。先生、そんなこときかれても、答えられません。
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乳がん治療には、いろんな選択肢があって、その度に重い選択をせまられる。
時間はそんなにはない。誰かに決めてもらうわけにはいかない。
それが、治療で一番大変なことでした。
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部分切除か全部か。
進行具合、数。腫瘍の周りも少し取るから、どのくらいの大きさになる？
手術後の形を想像してみる。乳頭を残せるかどうかも。
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インプラントは？なしにする？それとも、再建する？
インプラントなしは、体に負担が少ないけど、気持ちはどうかな。
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再建なら、その日に？それとも後から？
その日なら、気持ちは楽かも。
後からなら、より正確にサイズが選べる。今、いつもより痩せてるから。
それとも、自分のお肉を他から持ってきて入れてもらう？
柔らかくて自然な形にできるかもしれない。体への負担は大きいかも。
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もし、インプラントなら、サイズは？形は？材料は？
大きな硬めのインプラントはカッコいい形になるかもしれない。
硬いと、胸の筋肉の裏に差し込むから、肩が前にひっぱられて痛そうね。
どれでも手に入るとは限らない。低い直径の大きいものは日本にしかない。
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私の選択は、柔らかい小さいインプラントでその日に入れてもらいました。
できるだけストレス少なく、ヨガができるようにね。
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人生を考える。何が大切か。
よく考えて、誰のものでもない、自分の意思を見定める。後悔はしない。
その後、何がやってくるかは、神のみぞ知る。
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医療は日々進歩しています。私は2009年に受けたので、状況は変わっていると思います。
医師にご相談くださいね。
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あなたの幸運をお祈りします。良い選択ができますように。
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‘You are always smiling when you practice. Looks so happy.’
My friend said to me.
Last night I saw Mr. Seiji Ozawa interview.
He finished esophageal cancer treatments, is coming back his work, conductor.
He said he is blissful when he is with music.
He is in pure joy when he works with others.
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I understand.
So I smile.
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In Iyengar yoga body-alignment is described a lot.
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Intermediate students,who start remembering ‘correct’ alignment, tends to come to poke other’s ‘mistake’.
Yes. They do it by kindness, sometimes help others.
Sometimes their ‘correction’ comes from their judgment by told-knowledge.
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Even though it’s difficult to see from outside
I have one side implant behind chest muscles, which go longer way than another,
brings asymmetry in body and inner sensations.
I need to do some yoga poses in different way.
Even it looks not ‘correct’.
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In Mr.Peter Scott‘s workshop
I was hesitate to do in ‘different’ way.
He looked and permitted me to do without being told my condition.
I was surprised and impressed
his judgment from observation.
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No need to force ourselves into ‘correctness’
Find ‘rightness’ at our center.
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Namaste Peter-ji.
A summer day in the city of Angels 