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Pot boiled over. Run for stopping it. In a spilt second, I slipped and hit the temple at the counter.
Fortunately it’s not my temple but my specs’ temple.
My specs was broken.
I bought this thick-temple spec before having chemotherapy
for hiding eyebrows and eyelashes which might be lost in treatment.
Even I didn’t loose them, it protected my feeling during I was weak.
Over 8 years passed. I’m no longer weak.
Now it’s broken, finish its role.
I no need your protect. Thank you so much.
壊れたメガネ
鍋が吹いて、火を止めに走る。その一瞬、滑って転倒。カウンターに激突。
幸運なことに、ぶつけたのは私のこめかみではなくて、メガネのつるだった。
メガネは壊れてしまったけれども。
これは、抗がん剤治療が始まる前、
眉とまつ毛が抜けてしまうのを恐れて選んだ分厚いフレームのメガネだった。
そんなことは起こらなかったけれども、弱っていた気持ちを守ってくれた。
８年以上が過ぎ、私はもう弱くなんかない。
壊れて、役割を終えたメガネ。私はもう大丈夫。守ってくれてありがとう。
Some more hours later New year 2015 is coming.
2014
I started teaching yoga class with many friends’ supports in Singapore.
Only word I can say is ‘Arigato’ – ‘Thank you’ in Japanese.
‘Arigato’ means ‘It rarely happens. It’s a precious grace.’
I received the grace in my palms, nurse it grows with my heart.
Arigato my friends and you who is reading this post.
*
2015
Wish grace visit all of us.
Wish we aware the bell, welcome the visitor.
Wish I support a grace visits my friend.
*
Happy New Year is coming!
‘Potted orchid blooms longer than cut orchid. After finish flowers dump it,
buy new one. No work. Cost doesn’t change much. But flowers are all the time.’
Yes. It might be true in Bangkok. But I don’t like this idea.
*
People keep buying flowers for decorate their garden looks nice.
Enthusiastic over intake the beauty. Flowers, outfits, cosmetics, food, saying.
Keep intaking. It looks beautiful.
*
Maybe.
I invite new plants in my balcony.
Observe its nature, carefully choose place.
It adjust itself to the place and neighbor plants. They slowly make harmony.
Nurse them everyday. Find their growth everyday.
They thank me as fragrance, flowers, new born leaves according to their nature.
Yes. They are beautiful. The shine of life.
*
*
The photo is Kaffir lime. Lovely fragrance. New born leave are so soft.
Watch out small bugs on leaf. Don’t let them eat. I must be the biggest eater.
‘Pick up 1000 good luck seeds. Then your dream comes true.’ They say.
*
I walked around for finding the red seeds – Saga seed.
I found one at the Fort conning park gate. It was tiny shiny red heart-shape.
Oh! Good symptom. Welcoming me!
Walk up the hill. Sweat.
Under a big tree, I find another one under the leaves.
Pick up. Then find another one.
*
Changing the standing point changes the view. A tiny red suddenly appears.
Being about to pick the tiny red, other red shine graze the sight. Mind goes.
The tiny red between fingertips slips into the hole. Gone.
*
Good luck is tiny and slippery. Watch patiently. Pick up one by one mindfully.
The effort for finding 1000 changes own attitude.
Dream comes true.
Half of life tide comes in. Another half tide goes away.
*
I’m on the shore, walking forward step by step.
Tide touches my feet, is going away slowly.
Tide takes my energy away gradually.
Still
make effort, reenergize myself, keep walking forward.
More effort is required than before, which is natural.
Sometimes just standing same place requires effort. I praise myself.
One step forward. So happy.
*
Walk step by step. I see wider sky, smaller things on the shore, deeper my inside.
*
Walk until tide brings me away, the time for release gracefully.
*
There is a small space.
I play there as playground.
Run. Jump. Turn around.
I take care there.
Clean. Cultivate. Watering.
I broke high wall.
Plant hedge.
Keep there healthy inside, outside.
Invite my friends sometimes.
Sit alone calmly most of the time.
Even hedge enclose the space,
land and sky are part of the Earth.
Wind pass though. Birds fly though.
No need to waste time to built anything concrete.
Once I go, the hedge will be vanished, the space will back to anonymous part of the Earth.
No worry. Be peaceful. Gratitude to be a garden right now.
‘Congratulation. Result is excellent. You do well.’
By doctor’s words, my tension was gone immediately.
It was 5th year check after breast cancer treatment, meaning official recovery.
The years after the diagnosis is tough experience.
Still I recognize it is a very challenging practice, which sincere effort is needed,
which changed me from a flexible girl to a strong individual.
I’m proud of myself who went though with smiling and calmness, mostly.
Gratitude to my friends, teachers and my surroundings.
It’s a mile stone.
May each of us, our each day, each moment has life blissfully.
Namaste.
‘Oh! tired! I want more flexibility not muscles.’ a girl complained.
‘Developed muscles bring strength both in body and mind.
You will be strong. Then no one can bother you.’ I replied.
No one can change other person. Change comes of own accord.
Weaker person is dragged by stronger person’s will, twisted and bent.
For being together force to be flexible.
Are you happy?
Ask not to drag, be gentle, please.
Does it work?
Change own being.
Develop muscles and flexibility in balance.
Be strong
with knowing how weaker person feel.
Be gentle to others.
Are you happy?
Yes. I am.
A young girl are smiling in a photo.
She looks cute and sexy, needs your help, ready to care you, will depends you, will love you. It’s an Asian created image as a ‘beloved girl’.
Girl is weak, need protector, must sacrifice herself as represent of her ‘love’.
Do I want to be a beloved girl? No.
We come alone and leave alone. No one walk together all the way.
Time comes, others leave. Let them go. Even ourselves.
Walk together with someone, still we can’t stand in same time and place.
Our views are not same. directions are not same.
If we let go own view, without other’s view we lost.
With fear of lost, we lost direction, ourselves.
Keep own view. Head own direction. Still we find someone walking side by side.
That is only a moment as grace. It is precious.
Namaste my friends
When we have a meal with people,
we intake not only food but also space, time and feeling – energy.
So we get closer with having nice meal and chat.
Ayurveda teacher gave a lecture.
Thank you my friends
for having my favorite meals together, having lovely chat together.
That is greater thing than we think.
When I sat in Bangkok airport, I already missed my Bangkok friends
but tummy was filled with yummy foods. Heart was filled with their love.
Thank you the people who came to my workshops.
I’m so happy with you for sharing our moments-our life.
Wish you are happy now. See you again.
バンコクでのワークショップに来ていただいて、ありがとうございました。
一緒の時間をもつことができて、嬉しかったです。
喜んでもらえてたらいいなと思います。又、お会いしましょうね。
A summer day in the city of Angels 